Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I pour the whiskey from now on
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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