I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
