Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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