you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
