Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
