Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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