you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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