Sacagawea was the original milf.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
