Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
