How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
