Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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