I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
