you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
