Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
