I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
