I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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