he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want to make out with him forever
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize