hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
