i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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