how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
