i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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