I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
