What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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