have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
