He told me they were just razor bumps!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
