with your own penis?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
