Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
