Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
