I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize