Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
