just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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