Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
