I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
