Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
A bitchslap is in order.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
