Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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