at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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