Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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