im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
