I hope mine doesn't look like that
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize