Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
