I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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