FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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