And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
