What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
only you would photoshop your dick
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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