I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We have started to decorate penises.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
