Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
