Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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