I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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