they need to just BURY HIM!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
