are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
