if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
