remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
