it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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