You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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