It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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