He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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