So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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