You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
