she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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