I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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