Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
