let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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