Well apparently he's into motor boating.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
