You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
