What a fucking waste of an outfit
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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