Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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