So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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